Person, Writing

Honesty, a poem from “The Secret Life of Ordinary Things”

“Uhh, what’s with the title? What’s “The Secret Life of Ordinary Things”?”

So I don’t know if you know but in case you didn’t know, I’m trying to write a book. Currently, the working title is “The Secret Life of Ordinary Things”. It’s a compilation of my writings about my life: the mundane, everyday-ness of life from my somewhat introspective perspective.

I’ve been working on this for about two months, on and off. I’d work on it more if I weren’t working on billions of other things like school and art and vlogs and errands and excuses. But since I am being the multi-tasking procrastinator that I am, I’ve only been able to write a few things in. Today, I want to share with you a poem that I’ve written for this project. I was very much inspired by Rudy Francisco’s “My Honest Poem“.

This is one of my favorite pieces I’ve written in a while and I hope to perform it someday. I hope you enjoy it.

from “The Secret Life of Ordinary Things”
Eri Santos

Hi, my name is (redacted)
I’m twenty-five years old,
I’m a student, an artist, an occasional poet
I like to hang out in cafes and people-watch
because I’d rather be around complete strangers
than alone in my own head, sometimes

I’m 5’9”, 176cm and I have really bad posture
because my posture is a direct representation
of my self-esteem on a bad day

I’m terrible at remembering peoples’ names
because every person my mind takes time to remember
has somehow, some way, made their way out;
my closet is full of skeletons, secrets
(and pullover sweaters)
and everyday I push against their doors a little harder
to keep the insecurity and negativity inside,
to keep the facade I have created of a functioning adult
relatively whole
because in a world striving for perfect, nobody likes brokenness

I’ve been told that I’m very intimidating,
that I’m strange and weird
and that first impressions are made in a matter of seconds
I tell myself:
“nobody likes a party pooper”
The world tells me:
“nobody likes a loser loner who can’t make friends”
which translates to “nobody likes you”

I’m constantly trying to prove that wrong,
to be everything and anything that anyone might like
to change every last bit about myself in a heartbeat
to make myself available and ready for anyone who may need me
to be different and to make a difference
because really, I just want you to like me.

I have a lot of issues, a lot of shadows that chase me around:
I’m really hard on myself because if there’s one person I’m
desperate to impress and please,
that would be me
my standards for myself are higher than my physical body
but I try not to let that show
my standards for others are beneath the soles of my sneakers
but I try to push them lower
because nobody likes a lonely loser party-pooper
who can’t keep track of what their latest insecurity is

Hi, my name is (redacted)
I’m twenty-five years old
I’m a student, an artist, an occasional poet
and I know that I didn’t make the best first impression
but I thought it would be refreshing, in a way
to be honest.
I’m not the best person but I’m working on it
and I hope we can be friends anyway.

There we go. I’ll probably edit this again over time but I’m pretty glad with how it came out now. It’s vulnerable and personal but at the same time, refreshing. Different from what I would normally write.

Anyway, yeah. I hope you liked it. I’d love to know what you think.

I hope you’re having a great day and I’ll see you in the next one.

Eri 🙂


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