Writing

A Letter to My Bullies

I’m writing this “letter” in an attempt to reconcile my feelings towards people who have hurt me. In hopes of gaining personal closure. I don’t expect these people I’m dedicating this letter to to acknowledge their mistakes or for us to be friends again. I just want to get this out for myself.

And maybe, to help you – in case you’re going through the same thing. Bullying is never okay. If you’re being bullied, I’m here for you.

Dear bully,

You know who you are. Or maybe you don’t. Some people aren’t aware of their abusive behavior towards other people. Maybe you’re one of those people. Either way, this letter is for you.

I want you to know that you have hurt me. You made me feel like I don’t deserve to be happy. You made me feel like being myself will never be good enough for anyone. Your words hurt. That “sticks and stones” thing doesn’t apply here. Your words, your tone, your belittling view of me – it all hurt.

And I wouldn’t have minded so much if you didn’t pretend to be my friend first. But hey, it’s over. There’s nothing else to say.

Dear bully,

You know who you are. Or maybe you don’t. Some people aren’t aware of their abusive behavior towards other people. Maybe you’re one of those people. Either way, this letter is for you.

I want you to know that you’re ridiculously pretentious. I couldn’t stand being around someone like you. But you made me feel like I was somebody important. I felt like I had a purpose because you wanted me around. Little did I know that you only wanted me around to be your personal lackey.

That’s why I burnt that bridge. You didn’t care about me, not as much as I cared about you. You used my feelings for you for your self-interest.

You’ve probably changed a lot. I’ve changed a lot too. Maybe there’s a chance that we can reconnect and be friends again. Or maybe I’m lying to myself. Figure it out.

Dear bully,

You know who you are. Or maybe you don’t. Some people aren’t aware of their abusive behavior towards other people. Maybe you’re one of those people. Either way, this letter is for you.

I’ve known you all my life and the only reason I treat you with any semblance of civility is that we’re related. If I had the option to cut you out of my life, at this point I probably would. Your standards for me (and others, quite frankly) are consistently too high. We try to reach your standards but every time we try, you just cut us down.

You’ve brought this constant disappointment upon yourself. I’m done trying to please you.

Dear bully,

You know who you are. Or maybe you don’t. Some people aren’t aware of their abusive behavior towards other people. Maybe you’re one of those people. Either way, this letter is for you.

I want you to know that I’ve come to terms with how our relationship ended. I can’t take any of my actions back. We both said hurtful things. We painted our bright, sunny world with the dark tar of pettiness and resentment. It’s unfortunate and irreversible. I’m sorry we couldn’t cover the cracks with gold or glitter. I’m genuinely sorry this had to end the way it did.

I hope your life moves forward in a way you can grow. Good night.

Dear bully,

You know who you are. Or maybe you don’t. Some people aren’t aware of their abusive behavior towards other people. Maybe you’re one of those people. Either way, this letter is for you.

We’re too old for this. You don’t deserve this. Nor do I. We are done – we are parting at this road and if you want to merge again, you missed your turn.

Dear bully,

You know who you are. Or maybe you don’t. Some people aren’t aware of their abusive behavior towards other people. Maybe you’re one of those people. Either way, this letter is for you.

I wish you could’ve just broken my bones instead of this. That would’ve been easier. You take a genuine apology, gut it and completely disfigure it. I had given you so many chances to pull yourself together – holding back my anger or disappointment. But instead you chose to manipulate me and others unlike yourself as an act of revenge.

You turn the tides so hard that the ships have sunk deep into the trenches. Where does that begin to make sense?

Anyway, I hope you’re happy with your choices. I’m sorry it didn’t work out. I hope you don’t make the same mistake twice. I know I won’t.

Maybe you’ll grow up someday. Here’s to hoping.

Dear bully,

You know who you are. Or maybe you don’t.

But I want you to know…I forgive you.

xx,
Eri 🙂

 

 

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